Umm I'm too high to move.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
