Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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