Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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