The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
