you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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