i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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