As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
