i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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