My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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