is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
