I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
only you would photoshop your dick
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
