Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
