soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
