how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
