Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
