belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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