He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
