I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize