Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
