can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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