he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
