Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
