so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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