Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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