Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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