It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
