My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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