Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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