Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize