living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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