your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
