Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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