brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
