i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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