dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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