I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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