Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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