I don't think brook has ever known best
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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