just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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