I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
