He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
