I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
