Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
