I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize