after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
