It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize