Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
