Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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