so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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