this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
