Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize