Someone shit on the floor
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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