How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
