God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
