You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
