Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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