would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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