Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
