we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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