So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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