I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
