so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
