so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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