Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
