You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
