I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
