I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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